Unlike some weight loss bloggers, I haven’t always been this heavy. This is all recent weight gain which means I can’t even really speak from a place of knowing what exactly to do to lose 30 plus pounds. So how did I get to where I am at right now? Well…
I was six months pregnant last year when I gave birth to my stillborn daughter, Marieme on November 2, 2015. Obviously I gained weight from being pregnant. My oldest sister, K and I were pregnant at the same time and were actually due merely weeks apart. My nephew was born healthy, a couple weeks earlier than his due date in January 2016. My due date was February 13, 2016. Needless to say, everything is extremely fresh and I’m struggling to get through. Often my sister is not sensitive to the fact that I’m grieving the loss of my baby girl and that for the rest of my life I will be painfully reminded of my loss as my nephew grows. It has nothing to do with him but it still hurts. She constantly pushes him in my face without considering how hurtful she’s being and most of the time I just want her to leave me alone. It sucks because I’ve always been the closest to her.
Additional stressors include:
- Mourning the loss of my mother.
- My husband’s job security issues and my impending job hunt.
- Issues meeting and making new friends in this new area.
- Feeling really alone.
With all of these things going on, I have justified emotional eating and sulking. Yet, I know this is not who I am. So I’ve got to put the work in to do better.