I decided today that I will no longer blame my body for what happened. I cannot carry the weight of of guilt. Progress just won’t let me.
I know that I can’t bring my baby back. No matter how often I dream of her face or wish to touch her tiny fingers and toes again. It will be no more. It’s cruel but it is not my fault. One of the most difficult lessons that I knew I would have to teach her is self-love. I knew that I would have to lead by example. I knew she would always be watching, waiting to see what mommy did. I was the same way with my mom. It’s a great responsibility that I would have been privileged to have.
Even though she is no longer physically with me, I will still lead by example. I will be just as loyal, loving, and kind to myself as I am with others. I will love me so much that I won’t cheat on myself. In the same way that I work through issues with my spouse, I will complete the emotional homework necessary to create a better life for myself. I will learn. I will grow. I will love me. I am releasing undeserved guilt and welcoming in unconditional self-love.