It’s just not ‘my day’…

Today, I am weak, tired, and over life. I’m done with pretending. I’m done with trying. I just want to rest. Whatever that means.

I cry when I feel like I’ve completely lost her. I feel like I can no longer locate my mother’s voice. I need her to say, “Hey, Chicken” one more time. I need her to tell me I’m going to be okay. Is her spirit leaving me? Was she ever with me?

Miguel asked, “Do you still believe in love?”

I’m not sure. There are so many kinds of love and I’ve lost all of them. The love of a parent, the love of a child, the love of friends, the love of former boyfriends. I’ve lost. I’ve lost.

I’m lost. When will I find me?


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